I'm a Death Doula. These are 10 Lessons I've Learned About Living from the Dying

As a death doula, I often say that sitting at the bedside of the dying is one of the greatest privileges of my life. Their final wishes, tears, joys, and wisdom have given me the tools for living a meaningful life. In fact, the dying have been my greatest teachers.

These are the 10, life-changing lessons I’ve learned over the course of the last 15 years as a death doula. These invaluable insights come from deep, purposeful, heartfelt, and sometimes hard conversations with those I refer to as “the wisdom keepers.”

Lesson No. 1: The ordinary is everything.

A client who had traveled the world and dined at countless impressive restaurants recently shared with me what she was going to miss the most when she dies: her morning bowl of steel-cut oatmeal, the sound of birds, and conversations with her daughter. Over time, she came to understand that a truly joyful and meaningful life includes quiet time, a healthy lifestyle, plenty of sleep, a spiritual practice, everyday acts of kindness, time shared with others, and fewer material possessions.

It’s not the grandiose moments of fireworks and excitement that matter in the end. Looking back over a lifetime, there will likely be some big moments and celebrations, some highs and lows. But in retrospect, people don’t often reminisce about those major events. Time and time again, what people recount most with affection and gratitude are the simple pleasures of an ordinary day.